Like many of the other virtual cows who graze contentedly on the lush offerings of the internet, I am aware of the phenomenon known as fan fiction, or fanfic.

 It’s not a new concept; for as long as there has been fiction there have been people who wanted to “improve” upon the original story. I can accept that; I have often speculated on what happened after a favorite story, written or otherwise, ended. However, I have never closed a book, sat back, and thought to myself, “I wonder if they ever do it?”

It would appear that I’m in the minority. Granted; there are some fanfics that are quite good, but to find them you have to wade through quite a bit of the“they’s haz teh sexy;., it wur Hott!!1!” sort of thing that reads the way a bad porno’s screenplay might. The best way I have found  to find fics that are even halfway readable is this; when I find something that I like, I go to the writer’s page and see what stories they have in their favorites list. Most writers are also readers and most competent writers won’t endure reading something that’s badly written.

Well, with one exception – the stuff so badly written, so gut-turningly, mind-fracturingly, bile-raisingly bad that it’s funny. I’ve read a few of those, usually only a page or two will send me into fits of weeping and laughing. Like a car accident  it’s almost impossible not to look. Occasionally I’ll indulge, but such incidences are few and far between. Well, maybe not  that far between, but it’s not a regular thing for me.

And I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve written some stinkers in my day; not every monkey that sits down at a keyboard can start cranking out Shakespeare, but I would like to think that I’m aging like a fine wine and not like a gallon of milk left in the trunk of a car in the middle of summer. (Hmmm… Spoiled Trunk Milk would be a good name for a band) I will also admit to writing fanfics, but I’ve only ever posted one. The others were, quite frankly, horrible. And not the “good” sort of funny-horrible, just plain old horrible. Worse than my first NaNoWriMo novel. I’m not good at fitting a story within an established canon, I prefer a bit more freedom. Not that it has stopped others from shoehorning everything they could into their fanfic, but that’s not my style.