How is this not a thing yet?

I saw a commercial not long ago, the smiling mother opened up the cupboards to reveal plain bags marked “DINNER” and proceeded to pour out a bowl for each of her children. It was implied that since people don’t like to eat the same thing every day, our poor pets shouldn’t be expected to do the same.

I call bullshit on that.

I can competently cook about a dozen things without fear of poisoning myself and I can follow a recipe. Most of the ones I have seen are variations on a theme; different combinations of proteins, carbohydrates, vegetables, and the like.

Kinda like pet food.

And you can’t tell me that it’s because it can’t be done. I’ve been to a pet store, they have food that does everything from regulate your weight to improve your joints. The technology exists; it’s used to make pet food now. All it would take is one manufacturer to see the potential market in college students and singles. I got some gourmet canned cat food on sale for thirty cents a can the other day and some of it looks and smells better than anything I could afford when I was broke. (Well, more broke then I am now.)

They even have dog food made from roasted bison and venison.

I shit you not.

I lived alone for several years, and while I do have all the arcane bits of female plumbing, the possession of such did not give me an overwhelming desire to cook even for myself.

Cooking for just one person is tricky; there are very few recipes that make fewer than two servings. And my doll house-sized fridge wasn’t really up to the task of holding a lot of leftovers. So I ate a lot of Ramen Noodles and made hundreds of sandwiches, after being at work all day I rarely had the energy for anything else. If I was feeling particularly domestic, I’d pull out my tiny crock pot and make curry or red beans, something I could just pour over rice when I got home.

I would have loved to have been able to go to the store and buy a great big bag of Bachelor Chow in those days. Even now I’d buy a great big bag if I could find it.

And if it could make its own gravy I’d be set for life.