Today I’m going to share one of my favorite quotes with everyone. It’s from the game Portal 2. In the game as you ascend from the lower levels upward, a series of pre-recorded messages from the company founder, Cave Johnson, play while you navigate the catwalks and testing areas. The lowest, and oldest, levels are much more upbeat as he welcomes war heros, astronauts, and Olympic athletes into the testing programs. A bit higher and the tone changes as he now tells hobos not to use the elevator as a bathroom. In the upper layers, just under the lowest levels of the modern facility, they have had to give up outside test subjects all together and made testing required of all employees. By this point Cave is clearly ill and coughs frequently and asks his secretary to bring him pain pills. It’s from this portion of the game that the following quote comes from. Earlier he had used the old adage ” When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

 

“Alright, I’ve been thinking.When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back!  Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these?!? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s going to burn your house down! With the LEMONS! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!”

 

Cave Johnson is voiced by JK Simmons and he does a wonderful job. You can hear this quote here on YouTube.It’s worth a listen.

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