Let me share with you a short conversation I had recently with someone who came into [ghostbank].

A woman is signing in at my desk and I notice a distinct theme to her jewelry; squirrel earrings, squirrel bracelets, and a squirrel pin.

I get it, you like squirrels.

GhostSister has a thing for squirrels so I commented on the woman’s choice of personal adornment.

“My friends are always giving me squirrel things. I’m a squirrel rehabilitator.”

“Oh, really?”

Apparently “Oh, really?” in Squirrel Talk means “Tell me more about your unusual hobby!”

So I learned about all the baby squirrels Squirrel Lady had been taking care of, since she is a licensed wildlife rehabilitator.


I didn’t even know that was a thing.

And apparently it is.

I asked Uncle Google. It seems that when baby squirrels fall out of nests people rescue these animals and raise them. Ideally to be released back into the wild, unless the animal would not survive by themselves.

A quick question to Uncle Google and dozens of sites tailored to squirrel rehabilitation as well as the rehabilitation of other small animals such as bats, lizards, birds, and ‘possums.

‘Possums. People are saving baby ‘possums. There’s even an Opossum Society of America.

The tail wagging gif is a nice touch. Very professional.

While the OSUS has a disclaimer on their site that they do not condone or encourage keeping ‘possums as pets, you have to think that one or two of the members might have a scaly-tailed “cat” running around their house.

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t find ‘possums cute. I’ll always picture the big smelly rat-things that would show up and eat the cats’ food when we had outdoor cats when I was little.

Not. Cute.

They have creepy looking feet, too. They look like Gollum's hands.

While I commend these wildlife rehabilitators for their dedication, I have to ask myself if it’s really necessary. There are millions of squirrels in the US, probably close to that many ‘possums. They are by no means endangered species. You can legally kill and eat them. They get flattened into unidentifiable smears on a daily basis. Why go to so much trouble?

And I don’t want to hear any of that touchy-feely “All life is sacred” and “We should embrace our animal brethren!” rigmarole. I have pets that I cherish but I also eat meat, I wear some leather (Mostly shoes) I’ve raised birds for their eggs and would have cheerfully killed, prepared,and eaten any one of the birds if I had to. (I wouldn’t mind having a few chickens now, there is nothing like really fresh eggs.)

Okay ... That's pretty cute.

That's pretty cute too.

I guess it’s like people who save cats and dogs. Sure there’s tons of them and more die than can be saved, but for the ones you can save it makes a difference.

Of course, some people are just crazy and will post videos showing you how to massage your possum. No, that’s not a euphemism.