So I’m winding down my critique of ITS MY LIFE and have started searching for the next pile of craptastically bad fanfiction to rip into tiny pieces. I’ve been browsing through the listings to see if anything catches my eye and so far I’ve found quite a bit of bad (really bad) fanfiction, I’m still looking for something appropriately terrible. I’ve got a few chapters to go, so there’s not a real rush yet.

I have discovered that some of the strangest, most bizarre stuff can be found in the Crossovers sections.

What is a crossover – or as it is often spelled, “x-over” – you might ask?

A crossover is when you take characters from one source material and cram them together with a different source material. Like taking a square peg and trying to force it into a round hole. Just as the process of fitting a square peg into a round opening  is not often successful, crossovers tend to be mashed-up messes of hysterical failure.

Crossovers are the red-headed stepchildren of fanfics, viewed as only slightly better than realfics. (Fanfics featuring actual historical figures, living or dead. Realfics are almost universally despised, except by the small group of authors who write them.)

The pairings are often … unique. Much in the same way a flaming porcupine tossed in your face is a “unique” experience.

Want to read about Smurfs and Left 4 Dead-style zombies? There’s a fic for that.

Want to read  a My Little Pony version of the Christmas Story? There’s a fic for that. (My fellow Library of the Damned snarker Lara has already claimed that one for snarkbait.)

Want to find out what would happen if the Millennium Falcon crashed in the Beaver’s neighborhood? There’s a fic for that.

Just like with regular fanfics, the source materials with the largest fanbases (Doctor Who, Star Wars, Twilight, Star Trek, Harry Potter, etc…) tend to have the most fics. (There are hundreds of Harry Potter/Twilight crossovers that would make both fanbases froth at the mouth.)

In crossovers where the two source material worlds are vastly different (Harry Potter and Star Wars, for example) the author will often do one of the following;

  1.  Insert the crossover character into the story with a modified backstory that resembles the source material’s canon version, or
  2. Remove the characters from one source material and replace them with characters from another, or
  3.   Use magic and/or improbable science to explain away the crossover character’s presence, or
  4. Ignore the canon inconsistencies and just stick the crossover character into the other world with no explanation, or
  5. Create an alternate universe (AU) with the desired characters from the different source materials in a setting different from any found in the source materials. High school AUs are very popular.

While some (most) regular fanfics border on the incomprehensible, crossover fics are their own special brand of crazy. Where else could you read a story about Bella Swan from the Twilight books becoming pregnant with Optimus Prime’s baby?

Oh, how I wish I were making that up.

There are some decent crossovers, I’ve found the best ones are the ones where the different source materials compliment each other and the author has made some attempt to reconcile the different source materials. Like Batman and The Nightmare Before Christmas –  both are fairly dark and have a similar Gothic feel.

My all time favorite is a Shaun of the Dead and Doctor Who crossover I found, if for no other reason than because The Doctor beheads a zombie with a working lightsaber and that is just made of awesome.