I live out in the woods and there is a variety of wildlife around my house –

Such as a peahen

There are also quite a few less-exotic species, such as these;

What?

When we first moved out here, about fifteen or so years ago, it was interesting to have deer around. Our previous house had been too close to the city for them to come near.

The novelty wore off quickly, right about the time we planted a bunch of hosta only to have them eat them down to the bare earth.

These graceful creatures are the reason we can’t have a lot of plants outside – they will eat damn near anything they can reach. They have even shown up on our back deck, which is about twenty feet off the ground. (They took the stairs.) There’s a forlorn apple tree down the hill from us that they routinely strip bare – you can tell exactly how high they can reach because no leaves or fruit exist below a certain level.

GhostDad has a cute little convertible that I like to call his rollerskate – it’s sort of a substitute for the motorcycles he’s no longer able to ride. One evening as he was coming home he saw the herd roaming around not far from our house, so he slowed down.

He never saw the deer jump, as he describes it there was a thump and then all he could see was belly and a sliver of the hood. A split second later the deer vanished into the dark woods on the other side of the road.

Like this, but at night and with a car under her tummy.

She (GhostDad was close enough the confirm that it was a female) had jumped completely over his car, clearing it by only inches. If he had been in another car that wasn’t so low to the ground, she would have likely hit the hood or top of the car and have done serious damage, possibly killing herself and injuring GhostDad. As it was, there was only a single scuff mark on his front right hubcap (that was the thump he heard, it was probably her hoof) and a small dent on the right side of the hood.

Don't worry, it will buff out.

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