Last weekend one of my regular commenters mentioned that one of the good things about having a cat sleeping on your face is that you mother can’t shave off your eyebrows in revenge for posting a photo of her flipping you the bird on the Internet.

But there is a downside.

Boy, my nose looks odd.

I took this photo back in 2008, when I was still living alone and the only cat I had was Simon. Simon, much like he does now, liked to sleep beside me. On this occasion he was curled up beside my head.

Look, you can see his vampire fangs!

I like to have a fan running while I sleep because it’s a cheap white-noise generator, and I often read before bed. These three things merged to open a gash up in my head in the following manner. Simon was curled up by my head and I was reading. I decide to go to sleep and reach over him to put my book on the little table beside my bed, where the fan was, and switch off the light. Just as I was drifting off to sleep I heard a loud bang followed by the unique sensation of a large cat landing on my head and using it as a launchpad to get the hell away from whatever had scared him.

From what I can piece together, either the fan’s vibration caused my book to fall off the table, or Simon stretched and kicked it off. Either way, the noise scared him and he jumped up and backwards – landing exactly where my face happened to be.

I had a very odd few weeks at work – every time someone asked me what had happened and I told them my cat had scratched me, they would give me such an odd look. There were deeper scratches on my scalp that were hidden by my hair and made shampooing “fun”, but they were not quite as spectacular as this one.