I was browsing over on Swap-Bot instead of doing something useful, and came across something odd. I found a swap that reads very much like something you would find in a teen magazine – it’s a list of fifty-seven questions that seem well, stupid. So I thought I would copy them and answer them here.Here is the text of the swap, with all its hideous grammar left intact. I hope this girl writes fanfics.

Hello every one I am here today to start up the 57 Girly Questions yes you have read that right 57 Girly Questions, You don’t have to be Girly to do them but hay if this is not your kind of Swap I understand no worry at all. All you have to do is Answer the 57 Questions and then Sent it to your 3 Partners by E-Mail and then wait for your own Partners to send you there Answers. If you don’t understand or need help you can Comment on this Swap or give me a Message and I will Answer you back right away.

This promises to be fun.

THE QUESTIONS:

Is it cute when a guy kisses you on the forehead?

As I am not a toddler with an ouchie, I would have to say no, it’s not.

Poofy dress or short party dress?

Shocking as it may seem, I don’t own any dresses. Do I have to turn in my girl card now?

Would you like a long love letter?

Why, are you offering to write me one? Be sure to use scented stationary.

Group dates or single dates?

Yes.

Do you hate when guys act different around their friends?

“Different” as in “drinks the blood of cattle and howls at the moon” or just “behaves like a jerkass”?

Are diamonds a girls best friend?

Large denomination bills are good, too.

Is your hair up or down?

Down – with OPP.(Yeah, you know me!)

Do you straighten your hair?

I love and accept my hair no matter what its lifestyle choices are.

What’s your favorite girly magazine?

Analog Science Fiction & Fact

What’s your favorite mascara?

I wasn’t aware there was more than one.

Do you get your nails done?

Occasionally, but since I got my new scratching post I haven’t had to go to the vet as often to get them trimmed.

Small or large purses?

Both – I put the small purse inside the big purse and then shove them both into a backpack.

Jeans or skirts?

Jeans or skirts what? I’m gonna need a verb here.

Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that’s uncomfortable?

Hells no. Anyone who does is a flippin’ moron.

Do you test a lot?

Test what – my paitence? Because right now I’ll have to say yes.

What would you do if you got pregnant?

Raise the baby wild, like a squirrel.

Whats your favorite color?

The indefinable color of magic.

Heals or flats?

Can I get a noun, please?

Did you ever cry during a romantic movie?

I cried during Saw, does that count?

Would you ever leave the house without makeup on?

I did this morning and will continue to do so every morning for the forseeable future.

Walmart or target?

Yes – both have good and bad qualities. WallyWorld is cheaper but Tar-jay has better granola bars.

Do you wear shirts with collars?

Yep – my shirts have sleeves, too.

Do you like preppy boys?

No, and not just because saying yes could get me a visit from Child Protective Services.

Are you spoiled?

I’m beginning to think you might be.

Do you think lipgloss is the best?

The best what? – The best for re-grouting tile, the best for basting a chicken, the best jet fuel what? You need to work on your sentence structure.

Do you own any big sunglasses?

Do tinted goggles count?

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

If you subtract the time it takes to make myself breakfast, pack my lunch, and mess around on Farmville, about fifteen minutes from fully asleep to fully ready to go.

Do you like to wear band aids?

As fashion accessories or to cover a physical injury and prevent infection? No to one, yes to the other.

Do you like skater boys?

My nephew is a skater and I like him well enough, even if he does spend too much time fiddling with his hair and reeks of Axe.

Gold or silver?

Again, nouns are very helpful with this sort of thing.

Do you like to get flowers?

Unless they’re for my funeral, yes.

Do you like surfer boys?

I don’t know any, as I live several hours’ drive from the nearest ocean.

Do you dress up for the holidays?

Only Arbor Day.

Do you like dresses?

To wear or as a general concept?

On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you?

Spoon.

In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy?

“Hung out with” as in “had sex with” or “occupied the same space without killing”?

Do you wear lipsticks?

Yes, they make attractive earrings.

Do you like to hold hands?

It’s the only way Mother Dearest will let me cross the street.

What is the youngest you would date?

Since I’m thirty-one and no one’s invented a time machine yet, I’ll have to say “Thirty-one.”

What do you notice when you first meet a guy?

If they have child-bearing hips. It’s mad sexy.

Is it hot when guys are sweaty?

That’s usually the reason.

What is the best possible feature in a boy?

DVR or some sort of self-cleaning cycle.

Do you like making eye contact?

I do, but the doctor told me if I keep poking myself in the eye I’d go blind.

Do you ever picture your wedding dress or wedding?

I want to get married in a Batgirl costume.

Would you kill for chocolate?

Depends – is it the really good stuff or that cheap crap you can get at the supermarket?

Do you ever spend all day and night getting pretty for a guy?

I don’t have the paitence for that much pretty.

On a scale of 1-10 how fun is shopping?

Aardvark.

Do you freak out if you miss your fav shows?

No, that’s what Netflix and DVRs are for.

Do you yell a lot?

No, I have to sleep sometime.

Do you wear sweatpants to school/work?

No, that would be unprofessional. I do wear my rubber duckie footie pajamas to work sometimes.

Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy?

There was that time I dressed up as Wonder Woman, but there were extenuating circumstances.

Do you write a lot of mushy letter?

I use “h” and “s” quite a lot, and sometimes “y”.

What makeup could you not live without out?

I can live “without out” all makeup, since I do not wear any.

Do you fall in love easy?

Since I got my glasses prescription updated I don’t run into things or fall as much as I used to.

Do you have cramps right now?

My wrist is a little sore, but I wouldn’t call it a cramp.

Do you consider yourself pretty?

I am pretty, oh so pretty. Also witty and wise.

Do you think guys will open this even though it says girly questions?

There was nothing to open – you openly posted a list of questions on the Internet that anyone could read.

Advertisements