Archive for July, 2012



At [ghostbank] I have a coirker with the same name as mine; there actually used to be three of us with the same name, but now we’re down to just two. She’s nearly as white as I am, and our voices are similar in tone and pitch. Since I answer the phone and give my name, many times people will start talking to me as if I’m her but I will have no idea what they are talking about. At times these customers are firmly in the Disgruntled category, since my twin handles the bulk of our past-due mortgages and forclosures. (Fun times.) 

One such customer started laying into me the moment she heard my name, wanting to know why “I” had sent her a letter and what did it all mean. It just so happened that during the week that this incident occurred, my doppelganger was in class and didn’t come into the office for several days. I informed the customer of this and she went ballistic.

“No, she’s there! I was in there yesterday and talked to her and straightened this out! You’re just lazy and don’t want to do your job.”

I assured the customer that my twin had not been there the day before – she was, in truth, out for the whole week – so there was no way she could have seen her. I then asked the customer for her name, so I could look her up on our sign-in sheets. After a bit of “debate” she gave me her name and I looked her up.

“Ma’am, it looks like you were here yesterday afternoon …”

“See, I told you! Now get her on the phone before I come down there and get you fired!”

“…And you saw [African-American male coirker]. He’s out to lunch right now, but I can have him call you back when he gets in. I can also see if someone else is available to speak with you now if you prefer.”

:silence:

“Ma’am?”

:curses again and hangs up:

 

New Phone – Part Deux!


I finally got a new phone!

Awe-inspiring, isn’t it?

After the snafu with the last one, I spent a little more and found one still in the package for a little over thirty dollars. It was waiting at home for me on Friday and I had absolutely no problem getting it activated – switching over my minutes and time from my other phone took only a few minutes. I was worried my time wouldn’t transfer over with my minutes, which would have been a problem since I still had almost six months of a year-long card left, but it went off without a hitch. The activation even added sixty days!

I’m set until Valentine’s Day.

On Saturday I got another surprise, as the case and screen protectors I ordered arrived. Now I’m fully protected.

I already had the alien phone strap on my old phone. It took some figuring out to get it attached, I had to remove the battery cover to do so.

I’m currently debating about whether to get a ringtone or not, I can’t decide between the Batman theme and a Dalek saying “INCOMING COMMUNICATION DETECTED.” It also has the ability to record your own, I tried to get Simon’s purr set up as a ringtone but I didn’t do it right. I still have one more item, a microSD memory card, and I’ll have everything I need.

All together with the case, a data sync cable, the screen protectors, and the memory card, the phone costs about what just the naked phone would have been if I went to the store. I’m happy with that.

With the case on it just barely fits in my old cell phone pouch, so I don’t need a new one.

It’s All Of Them


:cuddles whichever book is closest:
“But you’re Mama’s favorite.”

This Is Me


I might be curious about odd and mostly useless stuff, but hey – it’s the thought that counts.


So I’m walking into the break room to eat my delicious sandwich while reading a manga and ignoring the world, when I happen to overhear my young coirker talking on her cell phone. It only took one sentence to grab my attention – “Mom, how do I cut up a peach?”

This girl is twenty-one years old and she had a whole peach and a knife in front of her. (Before anyone asks; yes, she is the same one who made her boyfriend buy her two purses whe she found the Sports Illustrated app on his phone.) This wasn’t some hybrid peach that would bite her fingers off if she approached it wrong – it was a frickin’ peach.

Like so.

How in the blinking blue blazes has she managed to go this long without cutting up her own food? It wasn’t even something difficult, like deboning a haddock or baking a cake from scratch – it’s frickin’ fruit and she had a frickin’ knife – our distant simian ancestors managed the trick with a sharp rock and a fraction of our brainpower.


This is one of those times when a fairly innocuous dream gets ramped up to nightmare levels.

I had a fairly harmless dream where I woke up, padded to the bathroom, and pulled back the shower curtain in preparation to taking a shower. In my dream, there was a small black snake curled up in the bottom of the bathtub. I stared at it for a moment and then picked it up and put it in my snail aquarium, which is located in the bathroom. Nothing very special or unique, except I hate snakes and would never be that calm around one. Still, it was a dream.

A few mornings after this dream I stumbled out of bed, staggered into the bathroom, and pulled the shower curtain back a little bit to hang my towel on the towel rack. At which point I nearly had a heart attack.

Remember Firefly, my skinny, mostly-black cat (with the skinny, mostly-black tail) who is obsessed with running water?

Also known as Psycho-Twitch.

She was sitting in the bathtub, which is something she rarely does in my bathtub as she prefers the hall bathroom’s tub. When I pulled the curtain back, all I could see was her tail twitching against the white tub.

I woke up really fast that morning.

Death To Writer’s Block


There are times when I’m writing where it feels like I’m peeking through a window of clearest glass into another world, where I can see and feel and almost taste everything that’s happening. The sensation is the best and worst thing in the world, it can also can be the easiest and the hardest thing to put into words.

It’s like the world has been dipped in chocolate and covered in diamonds, it’s like a river of light is flowing behind my eyes and showing me colors that have no name, it’s the closest thing to real magic that I’ll ever experience, it’s like stabbing yourself in the heart and feeling the blood flow out of your body but you never want it to stop, like … Fulfillment. Indulgence. Pain mixed with pleasure. Satisfaction. Release.

There are not enough words to describe it. If you’ve never experienced getting into the groove where the words just flow out of you as fast as you can get them out, then you just can’t understand.

And then the Wall appears with all the grace and subtlety of an egg meeting concrete.

Like a lot of writers, there are times when I hit the dreaded Wall. We’ve all been to the Wall – you sit there, idly picking crumbs out of your keyboard with an unbent paperclip and hope that words will magically appear on the screen.

Ye gods, I hate the Wall. Biggest bastard in the word, sitting in your brain and laughing at you every time you touch pen to paper or finger to keyboard. “You wanna write today? Tough shit, Hemingway. Here’s half the words to a commercial jingle you heard once ten years ago instead.”

Luckily I’ve got the Seventh Sanctum.

I adore the Seventh Sanctum, if you’ve never heard of it then you should go take a peek. In essence it is a site with a number of random generators for different things, from something as simple as a name – they have a ton of name generators, many oddly specific like the Pirate Ship or Tavern generators – to entire characters and simple story prompts. Many are geared towards fantasy settings, but there are a fair number of more modern ones, as well as superhero, anime, and machinery, even several (a wand maker and a Patronus creator to name two) geared towards specific fandoms like Harry Potter, collected on the site. There are dozens and dozens of them. My current favorite is the Catguy generator, which gives you a general description for a character. For example;

This sneaky catguy has slitted, red eyes. He has neck-length, luxurious, straight, red hair worn in a boyish style. His skin is china-white, and he has red fur with blue streaks on his ears and tail. He has an elegant build. His ears are pointed. He usually wears jeans, a leather top, and a fedora. Social events are among his favorite things.

And just like that I can see him; lean and long as an alley cat, leaning against the wall at a gallery opening. The sleeveless brown leather vest is dark against his marble-white skin, making him look less like a creature of flesh and blood and more like a work of art. He appears to be idly watching the other guests through half-closed eyes like a predator recently sated, but his tail twitches with the agitation he tries so hard to conceal. Balls of dust the cleaning crew missed flutter like moths against the floorboards, rolling away like the plump society matron who had the ill manners to stare at him a fraction of a second too long. She quickly learned that a sharp tongue lived behind those needle-like teeth. Now the other guests were drifting away like so much dust, leaving him alone in his corner with his champagne flute of whole cream.

Man, I love doing that. It’s like a frickin’ drug.

Even if you’re not a writer and have absolutely no desire to become one of us soulless wretches pouring through thesauruses at two in the morning trying to find yet another way to describe the way a pair of curtains drape, you should check out the Sanctum. I have killed many a minute playing around with the various generators out of curiosity. You never know what might spark a fire in your gray matter.

 

Phone Update


I’m returning my phone! The seller was very nice about it and replied pretty quickly, so I’m happy with it. Well, not about the whole “no phone” thing, but at least I can get a real one now.

In other news – it rained! We’re two inches in the hole from where we should be, so this is great. It seems like ten minutes after it stops raining, you can’t even tell if ever rain. The air feels like a wet wool blanket.

New Phone!


After having an old-fashioned flip phone for years, I’ve decided to upgrade to a nicer smartphone.

This one.

Since I use the prepaid service Tracfone, I wanted to get a phone that was compatible with the service so I could just switch over my minutes. Rather than buy a brand-new one from a store, I bought one on eBay for less than half of what a new one would cost.

I received the phone on Saturday and, after messing around with the buttons a bit, decided to go ahead and transfer my number over. I pull up the Tracfone site, punch in my current phone’s serial number and then enter my new phone’s serial number.

Uh-oh.

Tracfone informs me that the serial number is not a Tracfone, but in fact belongs to a Net10 phone. There is a Tracfone logo on the back and when you power the phone up there’s another Tracfone logo, but the serial number just doesn’t register.

I don’t want a Net10 phone, if I wanted one I would not have purchased a Tracfone. I messaged the seller immediately telling them the problem and requesting a return or exchange. I’m hoping I can get this all worked out so I can finally get a nice new phone.

Awesome


This is just too frickin’ awesome for words.

Batman Rising Sun by duss009