About twenty minutes before closing, we had a customer sign in to see one of our reps regarding what she referred to as “money missing” from her account. This is sadly a rather regular occurrence at [ghostbank] – usually due to someone stealing account information through various means. She went in with one of our reps and I went back to doing my thing.

After a few minutes I noticed the rep was calling up our supervisor (my phone is the switchboard so I can tell who is calling where) and after a few minutes walked over to her office. There was some discussion and the supervisor went with the rep to her office. More discussion, a little louder this time. The customer marches over to the courtesy phone in our lobby and starts dialing. The supervisor went back to her office after stopping by my desk – she told me to let her know when the police arrived.

Okay – having the police show up at your workplace is never a good sign, especially if you work in a bank.

About five minutes before closing, two patrol officers arrived – they spoke first with the boss and then with the customer, whom they escorted out of our office.I got the story from my supervisor later, and it was a humdinger.

The customer was claiming that five hundred and eighty-eight million dollars had been taken from her account. We had no record of that amount ever existing in her account and she had no record of it as well – we were to take her word for it, I guess. She insisted the money had been stolen and wanted to file a police report since we were “not helping” her like we were supposed to. I’m not really sure if she wanted to file a report about the fictitious money or the fact that we didn’t hand over half a billion dollars on her say-so, but either way it wasn’t going to happen. She actually called the police – who gave her a stern talking-to and walked her off the property, since by that time she was becoming belligerent.

Based on what I heard and my own experiences, one of three things happened:

  1. She was attempting to con [ghostbank] out of $588 million (if that’s the case, kudos on the chromium cojones, lady.)
  2. She was taken in by some sort of con, probably a Nigerian scam, where she sent a sum to someone and they were supposed to send a huge amount of money to her in return.
  3. She was delusional or some other flavor of crazy.

My money is on option 2; sadly people still fall for these things even though there has been multiple reports on the ‘net and more traditional media regarding these scams. I guess some people still haven’t learned TANSTAAFL.*





*An acronym found often in Heinlein stories, There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch