I promised Mother Dearest I wouldn’t write a blog post about having hot dogs and doughnuts for dinner on Monday, so here’s a few kitten facts instead.

  1. Kittens are solar powered.
  2. Kittens can eat hot dogs for dinner without censorship.
  3. Also doughnuts.
  4. Kittens are warm balls of fluff who do that cute little head-tilt thing; this is a natural form of protection so that when they utterly destroy everything you own, you’ll be unable to punish them.

    As soon as your back is turned, I’m gnawing this thing’s ear off.

  5. The heads of kittens are filled with marshmallows.
  6. Hairless kittens resemble tiny wrinkled demons.

    Kinda cute, in an “I want to eat your soul!” way.