This was interesting.

I received a phone call that started out normal enough – the caller wanted to know if it was possible to place a stop-payment on a cashier’s check. It is, but it’s not something that we really like to do so there are certain restrictions to doing so. I start asking a few questions – how long ago had she purchased it, did she keep the receipt, (nope) and so forth. When I asked her which branch she had purchased it from, I got a rather odd reply.

“Oh, I didn’t get it from [ghostbank]. I bought it at the grocery store.”

:pause:

“If you didn’t get it from us, then there’s really nothing we can do. You’d have to go back to wherever you purchased it and see what their procedures are.”

“But I have an account with you!”

:another pause:

“Yes, but the cashier’s check isn’t one of ours. We can’t refund a check from another institution.”

“Well, why not?”

:another pause:

“It … doesn’t work that way.”

“But I do all my business with you!”

I refrained from pointing out that that wasn’t completely true, since she did purchase a cashier’s check from somewhere else.

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