This was interesting.

I received a phone call that started out normal enough – the caller wanted to know if it was possible to place a stop-payment on a cashier’s check. It is, but it’s not something that we really like to do so there are certain restrictions to doing so. I start asking a few questions – how long ago had she purchased it, did she keep the receipt, (nope) and so forth. When I asked her which branch she had purchased it from, I got a rather odd reply.

“Oh, I didn’t get it from [ghostbank]. I bought it at the grocery store.”


“If you didn’t get it from us, then there’s really nothing we can do. You’d have to go back to wherever you purchased it and see what their procedures are.”

“But I have an account with you!”

:another pause:

“Yes, but the cashier’s check isn’t one of ours. We can’t refund a check from another institution.”

“Well, why not?”

:another pause:

“It … doesn’t work that way.”

“But I do all my business with you!”

I refrained from pointing out that that wasn’t completely true, since she did purchase a cashier’s check from somewhere else.