Category: Do Not Google List

Words Of Wisdom

If you ever find a bump on your leg and can’t figure out if it’s just an ingrown hair or something more serious, for the love of all which is pure and holy – do NOT do a Google Image search for boils or carbuncles. Add these words to your Do Not Google list right now.


So. Much. Oozing.

Also on the DNG list, for different yet similarly disturbing reasons – “meth mouth”. It is unpleasant.


(If anyone is wondering, it was an ingrown hair.)


To make up for all the unpleasantness, here’s a kitten.

May its adorableness soothe your mind.


Fluffy Mouth

This is yet another update on the ongoing drama that is my oral cavity. If only my life was as exciting as my mouth’s. No disgusting photos or anything, but I’ve put in a page break to keep from offending those with sensitive systems.

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While in Target, A.K.A “the store we do not speak of around GhostDad”, I saw something that struck me as odd.

Hi there!


I know Duck tape can be used for all sorts of craft projects and decorative uses, but this was in the hardware section.I can’t see going into a store for nails and coming out with candy-pink Duck tape with little kitties all over it.

When I was younger, before the Internet when the Earth had just started to cool, the only way to get anything with Hello Kitty or any of her little cartoon friends on it was to go to the Sanrio store at the mall and spend a small fortune for a couple of folders and a pencil.

These days she shows up on band-Aids, stationary, stickers, clothing – all of it readily available in regular stores or on the Internet.

Is there anything that doesn’t have that Japanese bobtail’s likeness on it?


It's a "shoulder massager." Yeah...right.


I withdraw the question. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to update my Do Not Google List.

Friday morning I was doing my usual morning shower thing and I heard a buzzing noise. I do have persistent tinnitus, so a ringing or buzzing sound is normal for me. I ignored it and went back to my Head & Shoulders and trying to remember the words to “When Doves Cry”.

Hey, don’t judge me.

Then I saw something move.

As I was in the shower at the time, I wasn’t wearing my glasses and the world was a foggy blur. The movement was coming from a point above my head to my left, where the normally motionless wall should be. I have pretty poor eyesight  without my glasses, but if something is fairly close, as this was, and there is enough contrast I can usually make shapes out. The tiles in the shower are off-white and the shape crawling around was very dark. At first I thought it might be a horsefly or a bee, but then it turned and I saw the distinctive arrowhead shape of the wings.




Fuck. It’s a wasp. There’s a wasp in the shower.

I reacted in the calm and rational manner anyone sharing a confining space with an insect with an unknown purpose would; I jumped out of the tub, grabbed the shower nozzle and hosed that sucker down. While it thrashed in wet-winged impotency in the bottom of the tub, vainly attempting to sting the water, I stabbed it with a fork until it was dead enough to flush down the toilet.

I’m not taking any chances. With my luck it would come back as a zombie wasp.



Note to self, add “Zombie Wasps” to Do Not Google List.