Tag Archive: beauty


Tutorial – Hair Spray


This is not a hairspray like the “Ultra-Mega Hold” styling lacquer that glues your hair together. It is more like a leave-in conditioner. It makes my normally dry hair soft and helps tame my frizzy curls somewhat, and also helps keep my dry scalp from itching.

I wanted a nice, light leave-in conditioner that wouldn’t make my head itch – most conditioners use silicone oil to coat the hair shaft but it coats everything else (like your scalp) as well. I couldn’t find one that suited my needs, no matter how hard I looked.

So I came up with my own.

And here’s how you make it.

First you will need;

  • A spray bottle – mine holds about two cups, so that’s what this recipe makes
  • Aloe Vera gel – I have a tube of this organic stuff, it’s lasted for years. The regular sunburn aloe will work as well, as long as it’s aloe vera gel and not a lotion.
  • Glycerin – you can find this in the health and beauty aisles of most stores. This big bottle has lasted me years.
  • Water – you can use tap water or distilled, it’s completely up to you. Some tap water will develop an unpleasant smell after sitting for a while.
  • Essential Oil (optional) – I like to use lavender, but sometimes I use rosemary. The aloe has a scent of its own that’s quite nice.
  • Optional – Alcohol (optional) – If you use essential oil, you will need about half a teaspoon of high-test alcohol, either drinking booze or rubbing alcohol.

This stuff.

Now the terribly complicated method of making it.

Step 1 – Put a small amount of warm water in the spray bottle. Add about two teaspoons of aloe vera gel and shake it around so it will dissolve. This can take a minute.

Step 2 – Add ten drops of glycerin to the warm water. Swirl it around a few times, it will dissolve quickly.

Optional step – if you are adding essential oil, first pour about half a teaspoon of alcohol into a separate small container and then drop between 5 – 10 drops of essential oil into the alcohol. Stir to disperse the oil in the alcohol and then pour it into the spray bottle. You can also use a squirt of perfume, if you are a perfume person.

The alcohol & oil mixture makes it cloudy.

Step 3 – Top off spray bottle with water and put the top on. Shake again.

And that's it.

 

If you don’t choose to use alcohol & oil, it will be much less cloudy but it will be slightly clouded.

To use –

Spray lightly over whole head and massage in from crown to tips with fingers or a large-toothed comb, making sure to get down to the scalp. It will help detangle hair to some degree. Can be applied directly to scalp if very dry. Wet hair is best, but can be applied to dry hair as well. (I keep a bottle at work for touch-ups) Dry and style as you normally would.

Aloe and glycerin are both moisturizers and skin protectants, they help keep the hair shaft from drying out so it will take slightly longer for your hair to dry. You can also wait until your hair is dry and mist it with the solution. It also has the added benefit of acting as a light moisturizer for your skin. (Very nice on thirsty legs in the wintertime when it gets so dry indoors.) If you use too much, you hair can become sticky, so it’s best to start light and add more later.

You may need to adjust this recipe to your own tastes, you may need less or more aloe or glycerin depending on how dry your hair is.

I Fear For Humanity


Today’s post is about this little darling.

thingy

What fresh slice of hell is this?

Meet the Derma Microneedle Roller.

Notice how the second word it its name contains the word “needle”? I noticed that too.

Here’s how this thing is supposed to work – You press that wheel o’ pain against your skin and then roll it back and forth so that the tiny little needles puncture your skin and you resemble a Looney Tunes character after they’ve been shot.

This is to make you “beautiful”.

Because poking tiny holes in yourself and possibly inserting some of the millions of  bacteria, viruses, and fungi that live on your skin into them is very attractive to some people.

I can think of one.

Sellers claim it will make your skin smooth and reduce wrinkles and all the usual anti-aging rigmarole. I guess once the scars heal they would be fairly smooth, but just looking at this thing makes me go “What. The HELL?”

pokey thing

It comes in a clear plastic coffin. Like a vampire.


Since my last review of a product went so well, I thought I’d give it another try.

Judging solely by eBay listings, Asian people have an unnatural obsession with their ears.

Which brings us to today’s item up for review – the Flashlight Earpick!

100_3461.JPG

Ta-da!

While it may sound like a terrific band name, this is in fact a tiny flashlight that comes with three different clear plastic tip attachments that you are supposed to stick in your ear.

100_3462.JPG

Hey, my flash works!

There are dozens and dozens of these things on eBay, some are slightly different colors but it’s basically the same thing; a little flashlight with plastic bits you stick in your ear. There are three bits, a small scoop, a larger scoop, and what are suppose to be tweezers.  You are supposed to use these high quality tools to remove wax and debris from your ear.

And the occasional earwig.

Since I don’t have many insects crawling into my ear to lay their eggs in my brain, I have used the little scoop on occasion to remove wax. It works about as you would expect, the flashlight portion really doesn’t help when it’s your own ear. Mother Dearest did use it to take a look at my ear to see it it looked inflamed during my last ear infection. It’s a good little tool if you need a tiny handheld light that you can get into tiny spaces. The light is pretty bright, the only real downside is I can’t figure out how to change the batteries but at $0.99 with free shipping it would be just as cheap to get a new one.

They also make nifty miniature light sabers.

100_3463.JPG

Don't tell me you weren't thinking about it.

The H Word


I love hipsters.

It is my dearest wish in life to sit in a coffee shop in my flannel footie pajamas, drinking fair trade soy lattes that I borrowed money from friends to buy and use a Mac laptop to post poorly worded comments about how mainstream various things are.

:snerk:

:snergle:

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Oh, I couldn’t do it.

I couldn’t keep a straight face.

Hoo, boy.

For those of you who have no idea what a hipster is; welcome to the Internet!

I hope you aren't having trouble reading this on your Commodore 64, Captain Time Travel.

Hipsters are everywhere on the Internet and are almost universally despised. It would seem that the only person who can tolerate a hipster is another hipster. Hipster culture seems to be nothing more than an incredibly elaborate metaphorical penis measuring contest over who is the least concerned with popular culture.

Like this, but ...different.

This is achieved by a near-obsessive following of popular culture just so you can keep track of what you don’t like this week.

For some reason that escapes me, an entire subculture has grown up around buying expensive yet ugly clothes, poor personal grooming habits, and embracing things “ironically” while trying your damnedest to look as if you care less than anyone else. I’m puzzled that this has happened, when hipsters seem to to inspire an intense hatred in anyone who isn’t another hipster. But even non-hipsters are starting to dress in part like hipsters do.

Hell, even I have a pair of hipster-ish “geeky” glasses.

They make me look smart AND keep me from running into things!

Why?

Why are tight sweaters, hoodies, epic mustaches and beards, and Converse sneakers suddenly so popular?

These people look as if their mothers dressed them.

Your parents are now fashionable. Feel free to begin screaming at any time.

These people, these so-called hipsters, claim to loathe the mainstream.

They are the mainstream.

Hipsters are everywhere. In magazines, on the Internet, even on TV.

Okay... That's kinda creepy.

It’s trendy, a fad; it’s popular for people to dress like hobos, drink PBR and complain about how no one understands how indie they are.

We understand, Twinkie. We just don’t care.

I had boots like that but now they're so mainstream.

If these “hipsters” truly believed in what they claim to, they wouldn’t care what they looked like or who saw them on their fixie listening to whatever gods-awful band no one has heard of this week.

My advice – Grow up, stop acting like pretentious asshats, and maybe develop an opinion of your own.

The Royal Treatment


Every little girl wants to be a princess at one time or another.

Every.

Single.

One.

And don’t start with that “Not me, I was a tomboy” stuff.

I was a tomboy, I played with Tonka trucks in the back yard and dug holes big enough to use as foxholes. If it was socially acceptable, I still would.

Hell YES I would.

I still wanted to be a princess.

Not all the time, but I had my moments where I daydreamed about living in a castle and wearing long gowns studded with precious stones and flounced out the wazoo.

This is what I would wear to go grocery shopping.

I would stroll the battlements of our beautiful stone castle with my handsome husband and his washboard abs and we would pelt the occasional serf with rotten fruit and laugh.

Pictured : modern day England

I assume England still has serfs, right?

I’ve never been there but I have read quite a few romance novels.

There also seems to be a high ratio of handsome young noblemen looking for wives to ravish. All the women’s dresses appear to be made out of colored tissue paper and tear at the drop of a hat and are very badly fitted.

Their men's clothing seems ... adequate.

I am not alone in this particular dream; women, and a few very special men, dream about becoming princesses and enjoying everything that would come with that. An army of servants to cater to your every whim, the adoration of an entire country. Nothing but pretty dresses and all the imported chocolate you can eat.

This would be a good start.

Brides try to recreate this on their wedding day; they get the gown, the music, the setting, everything as close to that image of perfection they hold in their minds.It never quite does, but you get as close as you can.

And last Friday one former little girl got the real thing.

Not the best in-laws, but I'm sure she'll manage.


I love to order odd things off of eBay.

It’s a weakness of mine.

Since I can’t think of anything to write and I’m dying to try out the photo insert option, here is a review for one of my most recent purchases.

It looks like a plastic tongue

The front of the package - it looks like a tongue

I have no idea what it’s called since I only read English and my own handwriting, which is considered an unclassified language, So I have been calling it the Face Scrubbie Thing.

More indecipherable Asian writing

The back of the package.

It’s not as stiff as I thought it would be, kinda squishy and flexible, with all these tiny little teeth-peg-dealies and a weird handle thing on the back.

Behold my lovely Classic Pooh shower curtain

Side view - you can kinda see the little teeth

Hi there, pink tongue thing!

Back view - thats the knob thing

It’s a little weird to use, according to the photos on the back of the package you are suppose to stick your index and middle fingers through the hole thing in the back and grip the knob thing between the two. Kinda odd, but doable.

The texture of the little teeth feels a bit like a cat’s tongue, but plastic and not quite as coarse. Not really rough but sort of massaging. Feels nice. And it had a free mini-thingie in the package.

It's the world's oddest contact lense

The mini thingie that was in the package. Please ignore my hairy Hobbit arm.

I love free stuff!

Overall, a good purchase considering it cost about a dollar and had free shipping.

I really love free stuff.