Tag Archive: dollar review

I’m not one hundred percent sure what the real name of this thing is; there’s not much writing on the package that’s in English. Most of the listings on eBay refer to it as a “face shaping mouth piece” or the much more verbose “Facial muscle exerciser mouth toning exercise slim toner flex face smile cheek.”

Yeah, I’m going to regret this one.

The idea seems simple enough, jam this thing in your facehole and move your mouth to work the little piston in an effort to make your smile bigger. I found mine for ninety-nine cents with free shipping, but I’ve seen the same item with the same packaging go for five to six times that.

How does it work? Not very well.

The craftsmanship is poor, the very first time I squeezed it together the casing on the larger half split down the seam and I’m afraid it would split the rest of the way and send the inner spring down my throat or through my cheek if I use it very much. Even if it wasn’t broken, it’s very hard to get it to work at all. The slight curve causes the inner shaft to rub and catch against the inside of the larger piece, causing it to jam. Even using my fingers to work the mechanism will cause it to jam. The pieces that are supposed to fit in the corners of your mouth caused me to drool a bit.

This thing is a waste of money; if you feel your smile is inadequate, you would be better off stretching your mouth with your fingers than buying this thing.

According to Mother Dearest, it looks like “something a porn star would own.”


I really love eBay, it’s like a yard sale you can visit in your jammies. If you like to casually browse through the categories (like I do) there are some really odd things out there, mostly from Asian countries it seems, at really low prices. I like to buy the occasional odd thing, as long as it’s less than a dollar and has free shipping, and will amuse myself by searching for random words to see what pops up.

I’ve decided to justify this time-wasting obsession by mining it for valuable blogging gold!

To that end, I will be writing up reviews for these cheap little items as I get them and posting them on a semi-regular basis. If anyone would like to suggest (or send) me something, I’m more than happy to accept any suggestion (or freebie!) you might offer.


This is one of those odd things that is sold for around the same price, mine was $0.99 with free shipping,  by dozens of dealers under different Engrishtastic names. I’ve seen it as “Hyper Peeling Stick” “Dental Bleaching Stick” “Tooth Teeth Stain Eraser” “Whiten Teeth Tooth Dental Peeling Stick” , and variations on those themes. All the creatively named products are the same thing; a turquoise handle and a bundle of white rods of aligned and compressed  fibers that look very similar to the innards of a hi-lighter or other felt-tipped pen. The little white sticks have a flat end that fits into the handle and a chiseled end that is supposed to do the polishing. Mine did not come with any neat packaging, it was all tossed together in a little baggie made of the thinnest plastic I have ever seen. There were no instructions but it’s pretty straightforward; put white thing in socket on blue-green thing,  rub on teeth.

I have used it on my teeth, just to see what it was like. It does polish, and leaves my teeth feeling squeaky clean. Kind of like a touch-up between dentist visits.  It’s sort of tedious, but if you’re watching TV or some similar activity where your attention is elsewhere, it makes it go by faster.  It’s pretty small and takes some maneuvering to get the back teeth. There’s not really any taste other than a general “plasticy” flavor you would get from licking a straw, many of the eBay ads call it a “bleaching” stick but I detected no chemicals that would do any sort of bleaching.

The bag is seriously thin, it's like a square plastic soap bubble with a ziploc top.

What I really like to use it for is polishing jewelry. It does a wonderful job of getting the tarnish off of rings, doesn’t scratch, and doesn’t make a mess the way paste cleaners can. It’s also good for removing permanent marker from non-porous surfaces like plastic and for taking stains off of fingernails. It takes a bit, but it does the job without leaving a lot of scuffs behind. It does work better if it’s dampened, but it works when dry too.

The little sticks are probably meant to be used just once and thrown away, but my frugal nature won’t allow me to do that; even if they only cost about four cents each I still want to get my money’s worth. The compressed fibers in the individual rods are bound together strong enough that, with a good sharp knife or  razor blade, you can shave off the used portion and expose a fresh polishing surface. I bought my little set over a year ago and I still haven’t used but two or three of the cleaning sticks.

The petite powerhouse of scrubbiness.

I think these little guys are well worth the $0.99, I’m sure there are other uses for them besides what I have mentioned. If you have an extra dollar laying around, it’s a good buy.