Tag Archive: morning

I was driving to work this morning, thinking about monkeys, and I started wondering why I was thinking about monkeys and trying to picture what a battle between a horde of gibbons and robots might look like.

Sadly I could not find a photo of monkeys fighting robots.      Here are some kittens with lightsabers instead.
I’m just cruising along, inching forward in bumper to bumper traffic, when I suddenly start thinking about monkeys.
 And robots.
 And if it would make a difference if the fighting robots were robotic monkeys.
What possible purpose could thinking about monkey ninjas and cybernetic gibbons serve?  Other than giving me a giggle, of course.

A Google Image search reveals a surprising number of hits for "monkey ninja" and over half of them are not even pornographic.

I think about things like that all the time and I have no idea why.  Since I have yet to perfect a reliable method of reading other people’s thoughts, I have always assumed that other people think about odd things as well. As I have gotten older, it has occurred to me that there might be people who don’t think about cage matches between monkey pirate ninjas and Viking robots.
What do those people think about? When they are stuck in an elevator, do they think about what would happen if it suddenly began filling with warm grape jelly? Or are they just composing their shopping lists for their next big fondue throwdown?

I assume regular people enjoy delicious fondue too.

So I started thinking less about the great Monkey-Robot Wars and started thinking about what other people think about.
 The problem is, thoughts are very subjective. If you tell a dozen people to think about elephants, some might picture real elephants, some might picture adorable stuffed elephant toys, some of them might be thinking about the bizarre Pink Elephant March from Dumbo, and one misguided soul might be thinking about Eeyore because they can’t tell the difference between an elephant and a donkey.

Pictured: not an elephant

So what purpose does my side trip from the Robot-Monkey Alliance against the Squid-folk serve? I don’t know, I really didn’t think that far ahead when I started writing. It just seemed like something interesting at the time.

The hazards of cat ownership

This morning I was stumbling around the bathroom, getting ready to let Calgon take me away, when I felt something sharp in my foot. In my disassociated state the discovery went something like this;



Something’s in my foot.


Maybe I should look at it.


I’ll go sit on the toilet.





Maybe I should walk on my heel since the sharp thing is in the ball of my foot.

:walks over and sits on the throne:

:runs hand over foot:

:puts foot back on floor:


:looks at foot again:

:finds sharp thing:

:stares at sharp thing:

It’s a cat whisker. Where did that come from?

:looks at three cats currently stuffing their faces in their food bowls:

Oh. Right.