I don’t use a lot of cosmetic stuff; for the most part makeup makes me break out in a rash, but most body powder is pretty safe. I bought some new powder, a brand I have not tried before, and I dabbed a little on to see if I would have a reaction. Standard protocol for anyone with a sensitivity or allergy. I didn’t have any sort of reaction after a day, so I thought I was good to go.

My bathroom has a dimmer switch, thoughtfully installed by my Dad, because my eyes are sensitive to light, especially early in the morning.

I swear these two things have something in common.

So I apply my new powder in my dim bathroom and go about my business. It was not until later, when I was at work under the bright fluorescents, that I realized something. My new powder was, in fact, a glitter body powder. It is full of ultra-fine glitter that makes me all shiny like a sparklepire.

I guess I’m going to have tack eighty years to my age, move to the Pacific Northwest, and find some emo with low self-esteem to stalk in the name of love.