Tag Archive: zombie



Remember to head over to The Library of the Damned for my awesome fic riff of the Portal fanfic ITS MY LIFE! It has zombies!

I normally write my post the night before, trusting my naturally witty self to somehow come up with something. However, I have taken some Motrin to help with a sore tooth so my brain feels conspicuously absent right now.

I cannot tell you how many times I have had to retype those two sentences, mostly because I can’t remember. Once again my laughably low drug tolerance comes back to bite me in the well-padded ass.

So instead of coming up with something coherent about laxative yogurts, I’m going to watch an episode of Lost Tapes with Mr. Skully.

"Can you at least adjust my eyes so I can see the TV?" "Quiet, you!"

If you’ve never heard of Lost Tapes, it’s a faux-documentary show that airs on Animal Planet featuring mythical creatures. I seen episodes in the past and disliked the show, mostly because of the “found footage” style in which it is shot. All of the shows are first-person, the characters carry video cameras everywhere with various degrees of believability. After three seasons I think they are starting to run out of plausible ways for people to be toting cameras with them into odd places. If it was on a different network I don’t think I would have a problem with the show; the fact that the vast majority of the shows on Animal Planet contain real footage of real animals could be misleading to some viewers despite the rather vague warning that the show is “inspired by the possibility that hidden creatures exist.”

Ooooh...

If you can push past the fact that very gullible people would believe this show to be real and that most of the reasoning for what is happening is utter crap, there are brief segments of very serious scholarly types talking very seriously about whatever bullshit theory they have come up with to rationalize the show’s plot interspersed with the found footage, it’s still pretty bad.

Each show seems to be variation of the same formula – isolate a small group (less than half a dozen people) in a remote location with no contact with anyone else, introduce monster, monster picks off group members while never revealing itself to the plentiful cameras tossed about like party favors.

I’ll go into more detail in a later post, right now I’m going to rant about the episode I’m watching with Mr. Skully.

Good of you to remember me.

We are watching the episode featuring … Zombies?

What the hell, Animal Planet?

Zombies? Really? On Animal Planet. There better be a zombie giraffe showing up, that’s all I’m saying.

So there’s a bit of backstory, some voodoo priestess/boarding house landlady is murdered by a dead man in New Orleans during Mardi Gras.  Instead of sending in police officers and a SWAT team to capture the murderer, who is still in the boarding house a month later, three people from a private security firm are rigged with cameras and sent in. There’s the leader guy, the tough chick, and the young rookie, whom I predict will die a gruesome death. What do you think,Mr. Skully?
 

He's a goner.

There is a debriefing scene where the plot is spelled out – they are to go in, get the murderer, and get out. These three people go into the decrepit boarding house, at night with atmospheric flashlights to lend an air of mystery and suspense, after the rookie explains that he’s set up cameras outside to monitor the perimeter. No one’s actually watching the feed from these cameras, but by damn they are watching that perimeter! Once inside the spooky and ominously dark house, they split up. There’s a lot of helmet-cam style shots as they spin about searching. Poor Mr. Skully got motion sickness.

:urp: ‘Scuse me.

A scientist explains how zombies work and that the most common way zombieism is spread is by biting.

Gee, like years of zombie films hadn’t divulged that fact.

Tough Chick goes through the murder victim’s bedroom, where there is a voodoo altar set up. More science geek talk about zombie powder (tetrodotoxin) and then the rookie finds a leg, head, and assorted body bits downstairs.

No back-up is called at this point, but they do decide to use deadly force if necessary. Leader guy gets a signal that something has breached the perimeter and sends the rookie out to take a look. He joins Tough Chick in front of the altar, where they are attacked by a rather ratty looking fella wielding a two by four. He is shot and falls dramatically over the stair railing.

He'll be back.

More science talk about how to kill a zombie (headshot) and that a freshly turned zombie will look more like a human.

Well, duh.

Meanwhile, the rookie is outside where he finds the source of the perimeter breach – a young girl wandering around. She, of course, bites him.

Told you so.

While Rookie struggles with the zombie girl, Tough Chick and Leader talk a bit about neurotoxin and are attacked by another ratty looking fella. No, wait; same fella. But it’s not the murderer. There’s yet more science geek talk about how humans are biologically prey. Leader tells the rookie, who is in the van outside with the zombie girl (who is chewing through her own arm) to call for back-up in four minutes. Tough Chick and Leader are attacked by another zombie, who is the murderer they are loking for, Tough Chick beats on him with the butt of her assault rifle but he doesn’t do anything. She then shoots him several times in the chest and can’t fugure out why he won’t go down.

Here’s an idea – shoot him in the head!

A headshot will kill you even if you aren’t a zombie.

Leader tosses a blanket over the murderer zombie and they tie him up. More zombies appear and attack. No one figures out that a headshot will do the trick. Zombie girl shows up after having chewed through her own arm and is shot, again in the chest. Leader and Tough Chick go out the window and meet up with Zombie Rookie, who attacks them as the show fades to black.

There is a prologue that reveals that Leader and Tough Chick survived and attended Zombie Rookie’s funeral.The boarding house was torn down the day after the daring night raid .

I am very disappointed that there were no zombie giraffes.

 

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So a while back I wrote about custom My Little Ponies and that I was going to try my hand at them.

With one thing and another happening in life (you know … ninjas) I have generally just  fiddled around with them but I thought I would post a few update pics of my work.

EYES – I’ve been doodling tons of eyes.

While drinking coffee. Oops.

Having a few Ponies at my disposal  I have discovered that, for the most part, the original eyes are very simple. Most of the eyes I have seen on custom ponies are far more elaborate. I’m not ready to do super-fancy eyes just yet, (and I don’t much care for the overdone eyelashes and curliques) but I can do as well as the factory ones at any rate.

Most customizers just use the old eye as a template and redo the colors or add embellishments. The "spray-paint-around-the-eye" look is called "pop-girl eyes".

REHAIRING –  I’ve been practicing rehairing with unraveled yarn, it’s slow going but not terribly difficult. I haven’t done too much practicing since I’d have to cut off the practice “hair” to put in good hair, but I’ve done enough to have the technique down. It isn’t terribly difficult, just a lot of boring repetition.  I’ve ordered some hair off of eBay; it’s artificial hair used on people to make braids and dreadlocks, so it’s not the really fine, nice stuff sold specifically for doll rehairing. Many of the fora I’ve visited has been filled with nothing but poorly-spelled rants against the stuff, but I figure it’s good enough for a few practice ponies. That said – there may be a post in the future where I curse the day I bought the stuff, but I will try to spell “hellspawned hair” correctly.

ZOMBIE PONY – I’ve gotten the head resculpt for Zombie Pony about fifty percent done.

Grrrrr...

Grrrrr... Again.

I started by cutting away most of the right side of the pony’s face, most of the muzzle, and a bit of the left side. the teeth and some jaw will be visible through the left side, but I left most of it intact since the right side will be the side primarily on display. I shaved a bit if the underside of the chin off, but left most of it to help support the skull’s weight.

Here you can see the bits I cut off and some of the tools I used. The little blue-green sticks are actually cut down cotton swab stems.

Zombie Pony pre-slicing, I used Play-Doh to map out the areas I wanted to change.

The original muzzle was fairly short and stubby, I used my modeling compound (SculpeyIII in Vanilla Creme) to extend it to get a more realistic shape to the skull. Lacking a horse skull of my own to use as a reference model, I used images Uncle Google found for me.

Horse skull neck vertebrae cheval crâne vertèbres cervicales Alfort

This is a real horse skull.

While not completely anatomically correct, I’m pretty pleased with the results so far. Once the head is sculpted, I need to resculpt the left leg (I’m going to make it look broken and have a bone sticking out) and add a few protruding vertebrae to the spine area.  Next  I need to cure the bits of Sculpey, add weight to the back legs to keep it from tipping over from the added weight of the Sculpey skull, and then comes painting and the finishing touches. The Sculpey is proving to be very persnickety, I may scrape it off and start over with Milliput. The Sculpey is just cracking so much I’m worried it will fall apart before I can cure it. Better to redo it now then have to try to fix it later. I might choose another victim from the Bait Pony Bucket and use Zombie Pony as a model.I’m thinking a bigger Pony, since Zombie Pony is a baby, then I can have a little zombie family.

The Bait Pony Bucket. Is there a future Zombie Momma in here?

OTHER PONIES – Darkwing Pony and Harley Pony are still in the planning stages. I will probably do Harley next since she will have fewer accessories that will need to be sculpted. I’m still mulling over the idea of giving her a dual-color mane and tail (dark red and black),  just doing a dual-color tail, or doing without hair all together since the character wears a full body suit and doesn’t actually have any visible hair to replicate.

I really never thought I’d have this sort of problem. Life is a strange thing sometimes.

I recently bought another lot of loose ponies at a yard sale, bringing my total pony count to over a hundred. That’s a lot of ponies. Many are in sad condition, with snarled hair and damaged bodies, from constant play. Quite a few are in pretty good condition, most from the last lot I bought. The girls who owned these Ponies took care of their stuff. The hair is a bit tangled, but I have some ideas on how to clean them up.

Zombie Pony and one of the crazy-hair Ponies.

Mother Dearest has recently opened up a store on eBay and has offered to list some of the Ponies that are in better condition. She’s only going to charge me a  75% fee 😉 (I’m almost sure she’s joking.) I’ll do a separate post on those once I get around to fixing the hair on them. I figure since I paid about fifteen to twenty cents for each Pony, if I sell a few of the nicer ones on eBay for a couple of dollars I can use that money to buy good hair and sculpting stuff. And more ponies, of course.

A basketful of crazy-hair Ponies ready for refurbishing.

Several dismembered and dehaired bait Ponies ready for working. The little white one is the one I've been sketching out Harley on, you can see the mask and some of the lines for her body suit.


Friday morning I was doing my usual morning shower thing and I heard a buzzing noise. I do have persistent tinnitus, so a ringing or buzzing sound is normal for me. I ignored it and went back to my Head & Shoulders and trying to remember the words to “When Doves Cry”.

Hey, don’t judge me.

Then I saw something move.

As I was in the shower at the time, I wasn’t wearing my glasses and the world was a foggy blur. The movement was coming from a point above my head to my left, where the normally motionless wall should be. I have pretty poor eyesight  without my glasses, but if something is fairly close, as this was, and there is enough contrast I can usually make shapes out. The tiles in the shower are off-white and the shape crawling around was very dark. At first I thought it might be a horsefly or a bee, but then it turned and I saw the distinctive arrowhead shape of the wings.

 

GAHHHHHHH!!!!

 

Fuck. It’s a wasp. There’s a wasp in the shower.

I reacted in the calm and rational manner anyone sharing a confining space with an insect with an unknown purpose would; I jumped out of the tub, grabbed the shower nozzle and hosed that sucker down. While it thrashed in wet-winged impotency in the bottom of the tub, vainly attempting to sting the water, I stabbed it with a fork until it was dead enough to flush down the toilet.

I’m not taking any chances. With my luck it would come back as a zombie wasp.

AHHHHH!

 

Note to self, add “Zombie Wasps” to Do Not Google List.

 

Got Brains?


I love going to yard sales, you find such neat stuff. That said, enjoy today’s picture post!

I'm keeping my eyes on you. Independent of each other, but still on you!

Been thinking too hard, gotta air out my brain.

Braaaaainssss…


Last night I watched Resident Evil, something I have never seen before, right before bed. I know better than that, but I was curious as to what the big deal was with the whole series and I had some time left on my Farmville farm, so I figured “What the hell.”

Such a big mistake.

It’s not that it was scary, I found the makeup and effects to be a bit pedestrian, but it was the inherent flaws in the story that left me pondering in the darkness. And before I get some snippy cinefreak jumping all over me about suspension of disbelief and all that filmtastic junk, let me just say; I don’t care. I love movies and I’m willing to accept a degree of impractical psuedo-science, but this was just too much. It was a bad movie.

Case in point – the T-virus. This is the thing that makes everything else happen. It’s because of the virus’ release that the place is put on lockdown and so forth and so on. As the Red Queen helpfully exposits, the virus works on the idea that the body keeps going after death, that nails and hair continue to grow.

This is an old wives’ tale; the body doesn’t continue to function after death. That’s why you’re dead – you stopped functioning.

In my misguided efforts to try to rationalize the thought processes behind this, all I could come up – it’s for organ harvesting purposes.

Not everyone has an access panel in their tummy.

That kinda makes sense, in the sense that if the body is kept alive through this mojo-magic science, then it would be easier to harvest the organs when you needed them.

But… the organs would be filled with a virulent disease that would turn the recipient into a brainless, ravening monster.

Clearly this wasn’t a well thought out plan. Unless there is an untapped market for corpse-hair and corpse-fingernails that I’m  not aware of.

A good zombie plague could do wonders for the weave industry

This seems counterintuitive, since the Umbrella Corp has stasis devices that could keep their corpsesicles fresh and freezer-burn free for years. The tongue-creature was in such a stasis unit and seemed quite sprightly.

Speaking of the tongue-creature, the Red Queen states that it is the result of the T-virus being injected directly into living tissue. Rain was chock-full of living tissue when she was bitten numerous times. These bites would have injected the virus into her living tissue, and yet it takes two thirds of the movie for her to go zombie. And yet Disposable Male Romantic Interest #2 is only scratched by the tongue-creature and within minutes starts mutating.

I don’t think the writers of Resident Evil have ever heard of science.

And even though there were several scenes of these “monsters” feeding, the bodies were surprisingly intact. This could be because the zombies, while ravenous, lacked the muscle control to bite and swallow their food, or it was simply a dumb-ass movie.

I started thinking, as I so often do, that there seems to be a lot of zombies in the media lately. Zombies and vampires.

This is not a vampire. This is an insult to your brain.

There’s probably some deep psychological reason for this, perhaps tapping into the fear of dead bodies nearly everyone has, or the use of blood-drinking to simulate sexual congress. I’m sure there are many scholarly works on the phenomenon out there. This being the Internet, there’s probably a site devoted to vampire/zombie slashfic, but I ain’t gonna look for it.

HELL. NO.

It kind of sad that with all the advances in effects and CGI that there are so many bad monster movies being made. I love monster movies, but I haven’t seen a really good new one in years. (I’m not including Hostel or Saw, those are slasher flicks.) I added some of the later Resident Evil movies to my Netflix queue, but I might remove them. I just wasn’t impressed.