I was over at swap-bot again and found another list of questions! These are Christmas questions so I thought they would make a good holiday post, rather than procrastinating and not posting them until June like I probably would have done.

The original list was really, really long and many of the questions were just repeated with slight variations of the wording, so I cut quite a few out.

 

Whats Your Favorite Holiday Movie?

Kung Fu Panda

Whats Your Favorite Christmas Color?

Orange and Purple striped.

Do You Like To Stay in Your PJs Or Dress Up For Christmas?

The fact that I remember to wear clothes at all should be enough.

If You Could Only Buy One Person a Present This Year Who Would It Be?

I only have to buy one present this year? Why didn’t anyone tell me this sooner?!?

Do You Open Your Present Christmas Eve Or Christmas Morning?

I carefully unwrap each present several weeks before and then re-wrap them and act surprised on Christmas morning.

Have You Ever Built a Ginger Bread House?

No, but I built a Crescent Roll House once – the flaky deliciousness wasn’t up to code so I was never able to get my certificate of occupancy.

What Do You Like To Do On Your Christmas Break?

Depends on what I break – if it’s a leg then square-dancing is out.

Any Christmas Wishes?

I’d like an official Red Ryder carbine action 200-range-shot model air rifle … oh, and world peace.

Favorite Christmas Smell?

I’ve got this new lemon verbena soap that’s just yummy.

Favorite Christmas Meal Or Treat?

Lasagna.

Are you on the Naughty list or the Nice list?

Why, what have you heard? I swear that dwarf is a big fat liar.

(I have a question for you, mysterious list maker – why have you suddenly stopped capitalizing every single word?)

Do you have a embarrassing Christmas Card photo?

:flicks blowtorch off: Not anymore.

Where do you usually spend your holiday?

Basically like any other day – sitting on the couch, surrounded by sleeping cats.

Have you ever had a White Christmas?

No, but I had a maroon one once. They mean it when they tell you to stay away from the brown acid.

Does it snow where you live?

Sometimes when the icemaker acts up.

Favorite Christmas Song?

“Making Christmas” from the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack.

Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?

I call the little one Stumpy.

What holiday tradition are you looking forward to most this year?

The traditional Airing of Grievances.

Do you have any Holiday Traditions?

Isn’t that something you should have asked me before asking what my favorite tradition was?

Is your Christmas tree real or fake?

Both – it’s fake, but it’s made out of paper so it used to be a real tree.

Be Honest: do you like giving gifts or receiving gifts better?

Both are fun in their own way; I like the anticipation that comes before you give someone a gift when you’re wondering if they will like it and then seeing the joy in their eyes, but on the other hand – free stuff.

What would be your dream place to visit for the holiday season?

I’ve always wanted to visit the Moon.

Does your family have a special holiday recipe you like to help make?

Yes, it’s called “Stay out of Mother Dearest’s way!”

Do you make Holiday Cookies if so what kind?

Whichever tube of dough is the cheapest.

Are you a pro-present wrapper, or do you fail miserably?

I played semi-pro for a few seasons, but then came the Disaster of ’03 that left two people in the hospital. I don’t like to speak of it, but even the sight of brightly colored paper makes me go twitchy.

Most memorable Holiday moment?

That year Santa tried to come down the chimney while we had a fire going – we never could get rid of the smell of smoldering fur.

What made you realize the truth about Santa?

That he’s a Time Lord? I’ve know that forever.

Do you make New Years Resolutions? Do you stick to them?

I always make a resolution to never make a resolution. So far I’ve succeeded at failing.

What makes the Holidays special for you?

Sleeping in on a weekday.

Do you like snow?

If it’s in a cone and drenched in flavored syrup.

Do you go Caroling?

Who’s Carol? And more importantly, will she buy me dinner first?

Do you make Snowman or have you ever made a snowman?

I have made many men in my life time, some of them have been made of snow, some of ice cream, and at least one out of frozen pudding.

Do you Drive around and look at lights?

I drive quite a bit and if it’s dark there are usually lights on, so …

Do your Stockings Match each other?

:pulls up pants’ cuffs: Son of a bitch …

Do you fill up the Stockings?

My feet are in them so they are pretty full.

Do you like handmade stuff or store stuff?

I am a fan of stuff in general. Also things.

Would you like to get handmade stuff over store stuff?

Over, under, wrapped around – it’s all good.

Do you use Mistletoe?

No, I’m on the Mistletoe Patch now. Only three more steps and I’ll have this licked!

Favorite random thing?

Penguins.

What is the most exciting thing you’re giving this Christmas?

A small thermonuclear device that I’m sending to some friends overseas.

Do you still leave out cookies and milk?

I am a grown woman – I just leave Santa a couple of bucks so he can buy his own damned snacks.

whats your fav christmas nail polish?

I like all the polish, especially the sparkly ones.

Whats your favorite Christmas clothing piece?

I’ve got these panties that light up, they are quite festive.

Do you care if you get socks for Christmas?

I love socks!

How many covers do you have on your bed when its cold?

I don’t need more than one layer – I have a thick down duvet and several large cats that sleep with me. I’m always too hot.

Do you get school\work off for Christmas?

Yep – two days!

Are you good at shopping for men?

I suck at it – so, so much.

Are men good at shopping for you?

I’ll let you know when one actually does it.